Friday 16: Older-Younger...

Admit it, you did it!

Today I'm going to write about something that seems to me that has happened to everybody in one moment. In the past when I saw 15to18-year people I saw them major, and now I feel young. We all try to seem to be older, I suppose that it's because it's cool being older, but now I believe that the whole world hopes that I answers as an adult, take decisions, and already I don't enter at the plans of the "children" and every time more doors are closed to me. Everything was easy until someone decided for me that I was major, and I don't feel it this way!

When I was younger I saw the typical American teens' series of high school, where they all with 15 years had an hectic life, (though as all they were adult actors they seemed to be a bit older) but I've realized that now they're like me, or rather, I'm like them.

Having a boyfriend, going away to a house of a friend when his parents aren't that weekend, to worry for getting good marks and to join a good university, growing by the way (or supposedly to mature), and all these things that they were saying to us that we would happen some day. Everything seemed to be more enterteining, easy and interesting in the TV.

It's a topic that when you're young you wanna grow and when you do it you wanna return to the 15. Often I have thought that many of the things that we do are because we feel a spice of " social obligation ", and if not, why to mature, or to feel as an adult when you want to return to be a teenager, why many things of our life they have been decided when we are only 15 or 16 years old if  we can still change?

What I feel, what people think Iam and what I don't wanna be...

What more worries me is that life is like a game where we're the pieces, the society moves us, and we play. We play at believing older, at taking decisions, at being important, at being successful, at excelling ourselves, at accepting ourselves as we are … but then in the end we play against someone, against the rest of the world, and they will decide if we win or lose. We can believe older and that the people makes you feel small; we can play at winning, at obtaining our dreams, but then the others will be those who decide if you are worth achieving them.

All of this I've sayed to be able to summarize it in this paragraph with the reason to get you bored with this philosophical roll. I've grown, I know it because now I'm of the major ones, though I feel small. I want to win, to obtain my dreams, to be of the best, but it turns out that someone decides for me if I can or not, and in a time (really shortly, certainly) already I will not have possibilities, 0, anything.

 I began this post because I was going to speak about how strange it's to seem being older, to be a young woman, to feel like an adult, and consider yourself a child; but I end up by speaking how the final decision is not ours, and it doesn't seem to me to be right. If we fight and live for obtaining something, it should be our decision if we can or not to obtain it.

at least now...

"Just feel good with who you are, not with what people want you to be" - TheSecretTeenager

 

Tuesday 13: 11-S: Ten years

Some years before...

Everything what happens in the world is a reflection of our acts; or at least it is said by some persons that we think they are wise. In my opinion some parts from our acts will have a response, but the majority of things that happen in the world, happen for our interpretations of the others' acts. Probably I'm not explaining well for you should understand why I'm saying this speaking about that topic, in this case I'm sorry.

When I was 5 years old, I was in my grandma's house, as a normal day, seeing the TV. I don't have many memories from my chilhood, but this one is one of them, and I don't believe that I'll forget it. Now we are so used to seeing catastrophes in the TV that when we see something important it seems  to be normal to us, it is like: oh! But not many stop to think really in the events that took place. As already I said, i don't live in the USA, I didn't see how the towers fall to the ground, and I don't have lived the consequences, I don't even have a walk there. But by the eyes of that five-year girl still being reflected the images of that day.

Many wouldn't let the child see this, they say that they are traumatized. I don't believe it this way, it served me for realise taht in the world more things happen that those who happen around me, that the things that I see in television often are hard and real. But I'm going to stop centring on me, today I want to speak about other persons.

Many people, died this day, exactly 2.752, and many still continue without name or identity (about 1.630 persons). They were innocent, and they lost his lives through the fault of the decisions of a pair of persons. From here I want to remember every and each one of the victims, with their relatives and other affected people, because they suffered and they suffer for the consequences of the acts of another persons that, until this moment they were foreign to their lives. Being sincere, it's not possible to express to him well the different feelings that I can feel about this memory, already they are 10 years, and it still seems that it was yesterday, but what can I say when I see people jumping from a 400-meters building? I'm going to merely giving my support to all those who have paid for the acts of others.

 

Now...

This date mustn't be forgotten, but remembered. It is necessary to learn to live with it, without doing as if it don't exist, it happened and now, 10 years later, we remember it, with a sorrow, but each day with a feeling of continuing forward. I wait that the whole people, and especially USA will get it. My small support of that five-year-old girl.

 "We are free when we don't depend from others, so we're never free" - The Secret Teenager