For write this today I 've stopped to think in all the problems I have day after day and who have my friends and acquaintances. Often I don't know if everything happens to me or what I do for everything goes out for me badly. How do the others want I tell them how I am if I don't even know it? How can I know really what I want or how I am?
I'm going to tell you some of the doubts I have; even my friends don't know some because I'm ashame to tell him it, I don't know if you'll understand me; and other doubts that people that I know have. If you know how to help please comment , but I believe that they are big mysteries for the humanity.Probably someone looks like to you like a bilge but I'm sure I know someone in the world that the same thing happens to him.
It will begin with things as the drugs, alcohol and tobacco. I'm not the holy one, everything it is necessary to say, I'm the first one who drinks in the weekend. People ask things like: Must I prove it? What were they think of my if I…? Do I continue smoking? Am I hooked? How can I leave it? Will something happen for a cigarette? I have friends of all kinds, from the ones who don't want to see a cigar up to those who smoke up even the leaves of the trees; from that it isn't important for them to take a little to be happy up to those who are hooked, of all kinds. In the end … let's continue …
Another topic is the family. Always they are in way though they don't have anything to say with what you're doing. It could be to rest or to press yourself, but always they are there. In my case it is in the habit of being to put pressure. Of this things go out things like: what will I do for not disappoint them? How can I demonstrate them that I'm not a disaster? Or in case someone in your family is sick (I've friends that this is happening to them and it isn't precisely agreeable) Will it happen or finish badly? Why does this happen to me with the people that I love? The same thing that before …
The penultimate topic that I'm going to extract today is the future. I often ask myself what is what I want and I never come to a clear response. It's very troublesome to see that the whole world knows what is what it wants to do, to study … and you don't know what you want to do tomorrow. Sometimes I have the sensation that though I know I'm worthy for much things I will finish without doing anything for don't knowing well what I want. What do I want to do? What will I be in a few years? Will I obtain what I want if I strain for it (because I don't see it possible)? How can I know what is what I must do? … You will be getting tired already of me so this one is the last topic …
The most spoken topic between ourselves if we are sincere is love, so it deserve a paragraph of this post. How many times I will have asked things about this, surely more times that I have felt it really. Also it depends of the type of love that you feel. I meet people who is gay or lesbian and it's having a bad time because the people not only don't accept them, they even reject them and they're so afraid, especially to finding anybody for them because they see it very difficultly. It is a topic that gives me great sorrow because I believe that they are people as any different and I don't believe that anything happens to them for loving people of the same sex. After my reflection it will leave some questions: will I find someday this special person? (maybe) do I love him or not? I want to do it really or ..? It is normal that I feels this what I feel? And this way I could continue for hours...
All these questions pass for my mind every day at all hours, and many have achieved that some friends end up by crying for a simple supposition. They must getting bitter the adolescence , clearly, because I don't see them any other function. I hope it was so easy to answer them like to choose what you are going to have for breakfast or even how you are going to dress. Surely they continue giving turned in a time but I hope that some day they all disappear. Thank you for lasting reading this reflection, I wait I don't have you bored very much. Kisses XoXo
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